As some of you may know, I became a dad last week. I’ve been off work since last Friday, and have really enjoyed my time at home. So far, everything is going great. My daughter sleeps like a champ, leaving quite a bit more downtime than expected. To help pass the time, I’ve watched a fair amount of movies. My selections have been all over the board, but when I came across a movie on Showtime called “Trollhunter”, I couldn’t resist. I DVD’d that thing without hesitation. To get your feet wet, check out the trailer here:
In the first minute of the movie, I nearly turned it off. It was in subtitles, and I wasn’t in the mood for that. But there was something about it that grabbed my attention. It was filmed in an exciting, Blair Witch-style format, and the fact that it was a foreign film added to the intrigue.
The movie kicks off with a group of three college students headed up to the mountains of Norway to investigate some illegal poaching that was going on. Armed with nothing but a camera and a couple mics, they tracked down a man who they thought to be the alleged poacher. They followed him around for a couple days, documenting his strange behavior. He’d venture out at dusk every night and wouldn’t return until dawn. He drove a heavily-armored vehicle stocked with an array of weaponry. The students eventually caught up to him and wanted to ask him a few questions. He was hesitant at first, but then finally opened up. He invited them to tag along and film his work. He was a trollhunter.
Employed by the TSS (Troll Security Service), the bearded mystery man’s sole purpose in life was to control the troll population. He agreed to take the college documentarians with him on several trollhunting excurusions, so long as they followed his instructions to a T. Before heading out on their first expedition, the trollhunter made everyone douse themselves in “troll stench” (like a deer hunter sprays himself in doe piss…duh). The skeptical students became believers just minutes into the first hunt, witnessing the trollhunter take down a 30-ft, three-headed troll. See, trolls must keep out of daylight or else they’ll turn to stone, so the trollhunter’s main weapon of choice is a high-powered UV light. One look into this beam and the trolls immediately calcify and crumble to pieces. Nice.
That’s pretty much the whole movie. There is no plot. There is no goal the team is trying to accomplish. There are an impossible number of trolls roaming these Norweigan forests, so it’s not like they were setting out to completely eradicate them. These trolls were pretty much a mere nuisance to the locals, and the trollhunter was nothing more than your average exterminator. He wasn’t the kind of guy who got a sick satisfaction in his work. He was actually growing tired punching the clock every night and taking out these seemingly docile trolls.
The only sort of culmination was at the end of the movie when the team took down a 200-ft. troll. Was this the biggest troll out there? Are there hundreds more just like this? Your guess is as good as mine. It seemed as though this was just a small dent in the troll population. So, what was the point? Exactly. None. Just huntin’ trolls, baby.
So there you have it. The movie title says it all: a guy hunts trolls. That’s it. If you’re looking for a hilariously bad movie, this isn’t the one for you. The filming style was actually pretty impressive, so this wasn’t your typical low budget, cheesy horror film. This movie was intended to be serious, filmed like a documentary in an attempt to make you believe that trolls are a real problem in Norway. It lacked the laughs that your traditional Syfy movies offer, so I’d recommend passing on this one.
Final grade (on a bad movie scale): D+